Resilience is the key to success

My own personal experience supports this position.  For me, resilience is fluid.  Just because I crumble in one set of circumstances does not mean that my resilience will wobble across all situations. Very much at play is where I am on my wellness path.  If I am snaking through rough terrain, with the resultant stresses and strains unabated, then my resilience is less robust. 

That is not to say, that the same circumstance would bring me down each time - and in fact, there is a lot to be said for adopting resilience building behaviour to ensure that when times are difficult, we do not succumb.  What I do know, is that if we do not pay attention to where we are on the resilience continuum at any given time, we can be blindsided.

So it seems, resilience most definitely is not a personality trait.  Resilience is our ability to wade through and transcend life's vicissitudes because we can access and draw on behaviours and actions to protect our wellbeing. 

Why is this important?  Well, apart from being a protective feature for good mental health, resilience is also one of the determinants of success.  Do some people have a propensity to be less resilient than others, whilst others thrive through challenging times?  So, if resilience is fluid, and protective of mental health, what actions can we take to ensure we are resilient as we can be?

There are a number of ways we can strengthen our resilience, including:

• Reframing - rather than catastrophising or stressing about a difficult situation, try to look at it from all angles.  Tweaking your perspective can make it easier to cope. 
• Positivity - stress and anxiety diminish our ability to think and respond creatively, allowing us to make good decisions.  It is important not to dismiss overwhelming feelings, as they are trying to tell us something.  It is useful though, to visit these feelings rather than live there.  Amongst the chaos, find some time for joy, connecting with others and seeking support from trusted people.  Focusing on positive emotions allows our brain to access its best problem solving skills. 
• Exercise - this one's a no brainer - but one we frequently let slip when we are under pressure.  Don't stop exercising, or if full out workouts are not your think, moving as much as you can - especially in the outdoors.  Nature has a great calming effect; and we are designed to be on the move and not sedentary. 
• Stay connected -  try not to isolate yourself from your social network.  It can be tempting to go to ground when we are struggling, but being amongst those who care about is dilutes the stress we are feeling. 
• Strengths - don't dismiss your natural strengths, lean into them and remind yourself that one bad situation does not define you. 
• Optimism - it can be really difficult to remain optimising when you are facing a crisis, but most setbacks are temporary and not the end of the world.  Looking to the future with optimism can help navigate our way to better times. 

This is all well and good, but how do we do this when we are overwhelmed with our situation?  A good place to start is to set small, achievable goals.  This will give you a sense of accomplishment which in turn will boost your confidence.  Don't try to tackle the whole situation at once, break it down into manageable chunks with some quick wins.  For the trickier problems, think about the steps you need to take to resolve and get ahead.  Remember, overwhelm is not good for effective problem solving, so make sure to factor in some fun, social activities and joy to mitigate the stress.  I often times have my best ideas when I am doing something completely opposite to focussing on the issue - walking my dog, in the shower (so frustrating when I can't immediately write it down lest I forget - I've actually climbed out of the shower before to make a note!). 

What else?  Good communication is key to all manner of desirable outcomes.  Be sure to express your needs and feelings to those around you, keep good boundaries and maintain assertiveness where needed.  It is also useful to actively listen to others - they may just be able to give some good insight that might be useful to your own situation.        

It goes without saying that getting on top of stress is paramount - if we don't do this, then our emotions can become dysregulated and emotional outburst are not usually that helpful. 

So, there are lots of things we can do to ensure that whatever is going on, we stay healthy, happy and resilient.  My top tip?  Always good self care.  For many of us, it is the first thing that we let go of.  We don't take the time to have that relaxing shower.  We can't pull ourselves away from the computer to eat nutritiously, and we stay up half the night thinking that if we throw time and focus on a situation, it will get better.  Without doubt, each time I have relapsed at the core of it, is a period of intense activity which had the effect of wiring my body (interestingly not my mind), which would make it difficult to sleep.  Quickly that difficulty would become sleeplessness - and then I would be in trouble. 

If anything in this post resonates with you, then please comment here or email me at info@cassiejordan.com.  I would love to hear from you.